Arnold Fairy Tales: Lila Sawyer and the Six Boarders & One Kid
by Orange Ratchet
Summary: A spoof of Snow White. When Rhonda begins writing the story of Snow White, she imagines the roles going to the people she met in Hillwood... and from there, it becomes hilarious. With Helga as the Evil Queen, Lila as Snow White, Arnold as the Prince and the boarders being the dwarves, will this be one story to remember? And will Lila as Snow White actually end up with someone else?
1. Rhonda's Prologue

Here's the first chapter of a spoof of a really well known fairy tale! I've been wanting to do something like this for a while, and I felt this was the right time to do it! Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Inside the fourth grade classroom of PS 118, Mr. Simmons smiled as he looked around the class, who was eagerly waiting for the bell to ring.

"Okay class, I have a special writing assignment for all of you!" Mr. Simmons smiled as everyone was groaning. "Now, now, I know none of you like the usual writing assignments I assign, but trust me, this one will be really fun."

"Okay, okay, what's the essay, Mr. Simmons?" Helga sighed as Phoebe was already pulling out her assignment book and pencil as she flipped to the page.

Mr. Simmons laughed as he said, "Oh no, no essay. I just want you to write a story based off a fairy tale. Now, it has to be VERY different from the fairy tale, but the premise must remain the same, but with a twist in the end. Any fairy tale will do, just as long as you make it exciting and creative. You have until the end of the week when this is due."

"Fairy tales? Awww... they're all mushy!" Harold complained as Sid nodded.

"Now, Harold, not every fairy tale is full of romance." Mr. Simmons explained as he gave a smile. "There are SOME fairy tales that teach a moral."

"Ugh..." Harold frowned as Rhonda was looking around.

"Again, the story you chose can be just about anything you like." Mr. Simmons smiled. "Just make sure it's based on a fairy tale, and give it a nice little twist. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll love it!"

As the bell rang, Mr. Simmons smiled as he said, "Oh, that's the bell! Remember class, your stories are due on Friday!"

The class didn't pay much attention as they were just running out of the room in excitement. Rhonda sighed as she was going out as Nadine followed.

"Fairy tales... I think I may already have an idea for what I want to do!" Nadine smiled.

"Of course, you do, Nadine." Rhonda smiled as the two arrived at their lockers. "Say, you want to go with me to the mall?"

"Another time, Rhonda! I want to get started on that story!" Nadine said as Rhonda stared in shock.

"Oh, okay. I understand." Rhonda smiled.

"Hey, why don't you do an outline of your assignment tonight? That way, when we get to school tomorrow, we can look over our writings and we'll see what we can advise each other on to improve it?" Nadine offered.

Rhonda paused. "You think I can come up with a good story?"

"Hey... as they say... unleash your imagination!" Nadine giggled as she started to walk off. "Well, see you later!"

Rhonda paused as she started to think to herself. _"What fairy tale could I possibly do?"_

* * *

A long while later, inside the Lloyd household, up in her room, Rhonda paused to think of a story. "Hmmm... what fairy tale can I do... what can I do, what can I-"

Rhonda's eyes lit up as she started to recall one of the fairy tales her nanny used to read to her as a small child. "Hey..."

Rhonda paused as she decided to get an outline on the details. "Okay, okay... now how to approach it, how to approach..."

The rich girl gave a smile. "Oooohhh... I got it!"

Rhonda paused as she started writing the story. "Once upon a time... in the middle of the city..."

* * *

 _ **HEY ARNOLD FAIRY TALE PRODUCTIONS**_

 _ **LILA SAWYER AND THE SIX BOARDERS AND ONE KID**_

Inside the Pataki household, Helga was sighing as she was looking at her locket of Arnold. She sighed as she gave it a hug. She giggled as she pocketed the locket and started skipping over to her closet and was about to start writing in one of her books... when she noticed something nearby. She smiled as she turned around. "Oh, Phoebe, Phoebe, friend so sweet, who is the best kid on this street?"

"You mean in Hillwood City?" Phoebe, who was taped to the wall, asked as she glared at Helga.

"Yeah, around that area." Helga nodded.

Phoebe sighed. "I think that would be Rhonda."

"Really?" Helga said in surprise... then paused. "Hmmm... no way I'd compete with her on that end."

"Helga, is there a reason you taped me in the wall along with your Arnold shrine?" Phoebe glared. "Seriously, can I get down from here? I need to go to the bathroom!"

"Come on, Phoebe, I need advice from the best, and you're the best!" Helga smiled.

"But taping me to the wall! That's just cold and very concerning!" Phoebe argued.

"Look, Pheebs, I promise I'll let you down, but first... Phoebe Phoebe, jam on..."

"What's your question, Helga?" Phoebe sighed, interrupting Helga's verse.

"Hey!" Helga frowned. "I'm trying to be dramatic here! Come on, Phoebe, at least play along with this..."

"Sorry, Helga. I'm just a little ticked that you decided that taping me to the wall was the best idea you ever had." Phoebe rolled her eyes.

"Okay, I'll ask my question, you give me the answer. Deal?" Helga asked.

"Will you let me down from here, then?" Phoebe asked.

"Yeah, sure." Helga rolled her eyes. "Now, answer my question, please. Who does Arnold love the most?"

Phoebe just looked at Helga with an expression that said, "You can't be serious."

"Phoebe..."

"Helga, you know by now that Arnold is pining for Lila!" Phoebe said.

"WHAT?" Helga said in shock.

"Why is that a complete shock to you?" Phoebe asked.

"It's just... how can Arnold still be pining for little Miss Perfect!" Helga complained. "What does she have that I don't?"

"Aside from the fact that she's not a creepy stalker who tapes her best friends up to their walls?" Phoebe frowned as Helga let her down. "Well, she's nice, she's pretty, she's very smart next to me, she's fashionably dressed next to Rhonda, she's an animal lover like Nadine AND she has a good interest in sporting like you... though not very much."

"But aside from that, how can Arnold still be pining for her?" Helga said in worry.

"Yeah, seriously, you'd think that after Lila keeps telling Arnold she doesn't like him like him, he'd quit." Phoebe sighed.

Helga groaned. "I can't do this... it's just too much for me..."

Phoebe sighed. "You want me to help you in sabotaging the next time Arnold and Lila try having a date together?"

"You'd help me? Aw, thanks." Helga smiled as she hugged Phoebe. "You really are a great friend."

"Still mad at you for taping me to the wall!" Phoebe glared.

Helga paused. "Hmmm... but I need to sabotage Lila when she and Arnold separate on their next date... which I don't think will happen, but just in case, we'll keep an eye on them."

Phoebe just rolled her eyes. This was not going to end well...

* * *

That's the end of this first chapter! How'd you like it? Anyway, read, review, criticize and suggest, folks!


	2. Keeping a Secret

Here's the next chapter of this story! Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

The next day, after the school bell rang, Lila was walking out, books in hand as she was carefully looking around. She sighed as she started walking. Arnold and Gerald looked over at Lila as Arnold raised an eyebrow. "You notice something up with Lila lately?"

"Arnold, man, I thought you got over Lila a couple months ago!" Gerald whispered.

"I did. But... I'm just saying that for the past few days, Lila's been looking around after school, and going in a different direction." Arnold explained.

"You're so not over her." Gerald sighed.

"Gerald, of course I'm over her! Look, I'm just going to follow her for today and that's it. I'm done, okay?" Arnold said, and before Gerald could protest, Arnold ran out of the classroom.

Gerald shook his head as he muttered, "That Arnold... always a bold, yet hopeless kid."

* * *

Arnold was walking out the doors of the school as he started looking around for Lila. Arnold sighed as he didn't see Lila in sight.

Arnold groaned. "I must have lost her..."

Arnold was about to leave... when all of a sudden, he heard a voice.

(To the tune of "I'm Wishing" from 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarves')

"Oh I know you're there, guy, but I can't really be fly." Arnold heard Lila's voice say.

( **Lila** )

 ** _But I just don't know how to approach you..._**

Arnold, in curiosity, decided to follow Lila's voice as she kept singing.

 ** _I like to give but just one glance,_**

 ** _That's all I really want..._**

 ** _Ever since I laid my eyes on you..._**

 ** _My heart has ghosts that haunt!_**

Arnold then spotted, to his surprise, Lila, staring at a locket and sighing.

 _ **I'm hoping...**_

"I'm hoping..." Lila spoke, sighing as she then sang again.

 _ **For that special guy...**_

 _ **To look at...**_

"To look at..." Lila sighed as Arnold approached her.

 ** _My eyes_**

( **Arnold** )

 _ **Your EYES!**_

Lila yelped as she turned to Arnold, putting the locket back in her pocket. "Arnold! What are you doing here?"

"Sorry. I heard your singing and I had to investigate." Arnold said.

Lila yelped as she said, "Me? I... I sang?"

"Well, yes. Come on, don't deny it, Lila." Arnold said.

Lila sighed. "Look, Arnold, if you're here to ask me out..."

"No, I'm not here to ask you out on another date. I know what you're going to say, and I do agree with you on it... I like you, but I don't like you like you." Arnold said.

Lila sighed in relief. "Good. I'm glad we're finally on the same page."

"I admit, it took me sometime..." Arnold paused. "Anyway, what were you looking at?"

"Nothing?" Lila smiled nervously.

Arnold just looked at Lila with an unimpressed look. Lila sighed. "You're not going to leave until I say, are you?"

Arnold nodded. Lila sighed. "Okay, okay... I'll tell you about it, but please, I want you to promise me not to tell anybody, okay?"

Arnold smiled as he said, "You have my word, Lila. I won't tell anyone."

Lila nodded as she pulled out the locket from her pocket. "This is the boy I have a crush on..."

Arnold looked at the locket in shock. "Wow... really? I didn't think you'd be the type to fall for him."

"Oh, he's a really nice boy I just met and talked to on one of our school projects. Remember the egg assignment? Believe it or not, I was his partner on that assignment." Lila said as Arnold gave the locket back. "I don't know, we talked for a while and we found out we shared quite a few things in common. I mean, we've talked a bit... and overtime, I... well, I started falling for him..."

"Oh... I see." Arnold smiled. "No, no, I understand completely, Lila. Yeah, my friends and I partnered with him on a few assignments, so I can understand that."

As Arnold and Lila were coming out of the alleyway, talking to each other, around the same time that happened, Helga and Phoebe were walking out of the school as the two looked and saw, to Helga's shock and horror, Arnold and Lila talking nicely to each other.

"Phoebe, Phoebe, friend in need, spy on those two, yes indeed!" Helga said.

"Why are you rhyming your commands?" Phoebe asked her in curiosity.

"Just get close to those two and report back!" Helga frowned.

"Oh, okay. Spying!" Phoebe chirped in her adorable voice as she jumped from the balcony and got close as she caught a few words of the conversation between Lila and Arnold.

"Hey, I totally understand if you don't want to..." Arnold started.

"But I do, I do!" Lila sighed. "I just don't know how to..."

"Listen, Lila... if you have problems, you know you can always come to me, right?" Arnold said. "After all, your secret is safe with me..."

Lila paused... as she smiled. "Yeah... I guess you're right..."

Phoebe paused and frowned. "Secret? What secret?"

"Well, thanks for talking with me Arnold. At least I know I feel oh so safe with my secret in your hands." Lila smiled.

"Anytime, Lila. See you sometime, then?" Arnold said as he was starting to walk off.

"Sure, I got your number. See you later, Arnold!" Lila giggled as she waved good-bye to Arnold.

Phoebe nodded as she went up to Helga, who was waiting. "Well?"

"Seems Lila has a secret that she entrusted to Arnold." Phoebe explained.

"A secret?" Helga frowned... then gasped. "Oh no! What if Lila secretly likes likes Arnold!"

"I don't think that's the secret..." Phoebe started.

"We've got to strike! But how can we do it without Lila..." Helga snapped her fingers. "We'll break into the apartment where she lives!"

"...beg pardon?" Phoebe said. "I doubt Lila would appreciate that..."

"Don't fret, I won't break any windows or anything, we're just going to follow Lila home and sneak inside... once we're in, we'll sneak into Lila's room and hide inside until she's nowhere, then we'll set Operation: Scare Lila away from Arnold!" Helga smirked.

Phoebe glared at Helga as she said, "There are so many things that are going to go wrong with this, it's not even funny... what are we going to do when we get to Lila's place!"

Helga smirked at Phoebe as Phoebe nervously gigged. "Why are you staring at me like that, Helga?"

Phoebe yelped as Helga grabbed the petite girl and dragged her down to follow Lila.

* * *

And the second chapter is completed! How'd you like it? Anyway, read, review, criticize and suggest, folks!


	3. Getting The Call From Daddy

Here's the next chapter of the Arnold Fairy Tales! Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Over at the Sawyer apartment, Lila sighed as she knocked on the door. "Daddy?"

Lila sighed as she put a hand on the side of her dress and pulled out a house key as she inserted it. From nearby, Helga and Phoebe were keeping watch.

"Okay, perfect!" Helga smirked.

"She has pockets on that dress?" Phoebe said in shock.

"Don't question logic." Helga sighed, then nodded. "Okay, you know the drill!"

Phoebe sighed. "Okay, but you owe me big!"

Phoebe grumbled a bit as Helga kept watch as Lila walked in the door.

Phoebe then took a deep breath as she sighed. "Okay, okay... calming myself... look into my inner chi... and... yeah. I'm ready."

Phoebe then knocked on the apartment. The door opened cautiously as Lila peeked out.

"Phoebe? What are you doing here?" Lila asked.

"Hey, Lila. I was wondering if I can come in and chat for a while." Phoebe said, smiling nervously. "There's something I need your help on."

Lila paused... then smiled as she closed the door and lifted the locks before opening the door. "Come on in, Phoebe. Sorry I have to lock the doors, but dads. You know how they are."

"But of course." Phoebe smiled as Phoebe came in and closed the door. Phoebe and Lila walked into the living room as Phoebe took a deep breath and sighed. "It's a little stuffy in here..."

"Hang on, I usually open a window just a bit after I come home... just for ten minutes or so." Lila said, lifting the window up and putting a ruler on top. "Sometimes, this window is a bit unstable."

"I see..." Phoebe said as she and Lila sat down, Helga already climbing inside as she was holding her backpack and carefully sneaking into Lila's room. Phoebe sighed as she said, "Sorry I came on such short notice, but I need help on a few math problems. I was wondering if you can help me with that."

"Sure, but what about Helga?" Lila asked.

"She's a little... pre-occupied at the moment." Phoebe said, rolling her eyes towards Lila's room, which fortunately, Lila didn't notice.

"I'm guessing she's either following her crush around or just playing ball at Gerald Field, huh?" Lila guessed.

"You might say that." Phoebe said as she pulled out her math book. "Okay, let me point to you the problems and I'll see if we can compare answers..."

* * *

Inside Lila's room, Helga gave a slight chuckle as she looked around. "Looks like Miss Perfect's room is clean... but not for long..."

Helga hummed a bit as she spilled some spiders on her bed. "Thank you very much, Nadine."

Helga then propped the closet door a bit as she looked around. "Bucket, bucket... right, need to fill it up with water..."

Helga then snuck out of the room and yelped when she noticed that the kitchen and the bathroom were right across where Phoebe and Lila were.

Helga gulped as she needed a way to get across. Helga paused as she pulled out a bell and started ringing it like a telephone.

* * *

Lila looked up. "Oh, it's the phone. I think that might be my dad! Hang on a second, Phoebe."

"Take your time." Phoebe smiled as Lila got up and started walking to the right.

Immediately, Phoebe watched as Helga ran out into the kitchen.

* * *

Helga sighed in relief as she went into the kitchen and grabbed a bucket from the kitchen. "Ha ha!"

Helga slowly then walked towards the sink and slowly started to fill it up with water... or rather, she would, if the first switch she pressed didn't happen to be the garbage disposal.

Helga yelped as the garbage disposal made a loud noise.

* * *

"What the?" Lila yelped as she looked around as she turned to Phoebe. "Did you hear something?"

Phoebe paused as she shrugged. "Must have been a construction truck going nearby."

"Maybe that was it..." Lila said as she hung up the phone. "Well, false alarm. I got the dial tone."

* * *

Helga then shut the garbage disposal off as she sighed in relief, turning on the water this time as she sighed in relief. Pretty soon, she got the bucket all filled up as she pulled out the bell and rang it like the phone again.

* * *

"Maybe THAT'S my dad!" Lila said as she walked over to the phone. As soon as Lila's back was turned, Phoebe watched as Helga came back into the room with a bucket of water.

Lila smiled as she lifted the phone, then frowned as she hung up. Phoebe watched as Helga snuck out of her room and back out the window as she jumped out as Helga mouthed to her, "I have to go! Tell me how it turns out tomorrow!"

Phoebe sighed as Helga left, Lila coming back. Phoebe sighed. "Another false alarm?"

"Yeah, it's so odd. Usually the phone here doesn't ring. Must be a telemarketer." Lila shrugged. "Now, about those problems..."

"Actually..." Phoebe said as she looked at the problems. "Having looked at them, I think I know what they are. Guess I worried over nothing. Sorry about that, Lila."

"No, it's all right." Lila smiled. "I'm glad you came over, at least. I know there are people that come over sometimes, but not too much."

It was then that the two of them heard the phone ring. Lila looked up as she walked over to the phone. "Oh! That must be my dad this time!"

Lila ran over to the phone and picked it up. "Hello? Daddy!"

Lila gave a smile. "Of course, everything's fine. I had another good day at school! Oh? You and your workers are going to a meeting... outside Hillwood? Do you know when you'll be back? That long, huh? ...Don't worry, dad, I'll find a place."

Lila sighed. "Yes, daddy, I think I know who I can ask... of course, you remember Arnold! I'm sure he won't mind me staying at his place... maybe his grandfather will be fine with it... I won't get in trouble. Okay, have a good trip. See you in a couple of days!"

Lila hung up the phone as she turned to Phoebe as Phoebe looked up. "What's wrong, Lila?"

Lila sighed. "Oh, my dad's taking a trip that'll be a couple of days. He recommended that I don't stay in the house alone, so he told me to spend a night over at a friend's house until everything blows over."

"I thought I heard you mentioning Arnold in there somewhere." Phoebe raised an eyebrow.

Lila paused as she nodded. "Well, yes. I'm thinking about spending a couple of nights over at his place."

Phoebe raised an eyebrow. "Why? From what I heard, you don't like him like him..."

Lila sighed. "I don't like him like him, just like him, and... well, how do I put this? He knows a certain secret that I entrusted in him, and... well, I kind of want to talk to him about that... I want to improve my relationship with... someone. I can't say who it is at this time, but... all I can say is, you'll be pretty surprised."

Phoebe paused and nodded. "All right, I guess it makes sense. I take it you're going to call Arnold?"

Lila nodded. "Sure. I need to be away from the place for a while. Could you get my things for me? I always keep a bag of clothes and needed supplies all packed up just in case I'm planning on going to spend the night."

Phoebe looked at Lila in shock as she asked, "That fast?"

"Sometimes, I anticipate it." Lila shrugged.

Phoebe paused as she smiled nervously, backing towards Lila's room. "Sure, let me go get the bag for you!"

As Phoebe ran in the room, Lila smiled as she picked up the phone and was about to dial when she heard a door opening and a scream.

"Are you okay?" Lila asked.

"F-f-fine! I just... accidentally spilled something on my... YAHH! GET OFF, GET OFF, GET OFF!" Lila heard Phoebe scream.

"Well, if you're sure you're okay..." Lila called as she dialed the number.

* * *

Inside Lila's room, Phoebe frowned as she was now soaken wet and spiders were crawling over her as she was holding a packed bag. "Helga..."

* * *

"Thanks, Arnold. I'll meet you at the boarding house." Lila said as Phoebe came out, soaken wet and covered in spiders. "Phoebe, wha- oh. Let me guess... Helga was following us, and she came in through the window, didn't she?"

Phoebe looked down in shame.

Lila sighed. "I guess I should have expected it... sorry about that Phoebe."

"Don't worry about it, Lila." Phoebe sighed.

"Just tell Helga she has nothing to worry about. And you can go ahead and dry yourself in the restroom." Lila said as she collected the spiders. "Meanwhile, I'll just set these little guys outside."

"Thanks. Sorry about that." Phoebe sighed as Lila walked in the window.

"It's all right. I guess I should have expected another Helga antic." Lila shrugged as she hummed 'Whistle While You Work' to herself.

Phoebe sighed as she walked towards the restroom, all the while, plotting a little prank to get back at Helga.

* * *

And we'll be ending the third chapter here! How do you like it? By the way, don't worry if your reviews aren't showing up on this site, I am getting them through my e-mail notifications! Looks like we just have another glitch in the fanfiction system once again! Anyway, read, review, criticize and suggest, folks!


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